Why I Eat Chocolate Like Helena Bonham-Carter

I should preface by saying that I don't eat chocolate that often.  In my mid-twenties, I encountered my first cavity, making it hurt to eat sweets.  So I stopped.  Since then, any sweet tooth I may have had has gone the way of the dodo.  (Now leave me in a room with a Pepsi and a box of Cheez-Its, that's a different story entirely.)

(Image via ThatCuteSite.com)

 At some point after I bought my DVD of Tim Burton's Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, I either read an interview with Helena Bonham-Carter or watched a "making of" feature on the DVD.  In said interview, HBC said that director (and husband) Tim Burton told them they all needed to find an interesting and different way to eat the piece of chocolate Charlie gives each family member after he opens his birthday chocolate bar.  

(Grandma Josephine [Eileen Essell] chose to snort hers like a crackhead.)

HBC stated that because chocolate is such a luxury for the Bucket family, she figured Mrs. Bucket would try to savor it as much as possible, ergo she actually just sucks on the end of her piece.

 (There are just too many jokes here.  Please take this moment to fill in the blank with your own.)

For some reason that stuck in my head.  So the next time I indulged in bit of chocolatey goodness, I popped the piece into my mouth and just sort of sucked on it, letting it melt and dissolve away.  I've been eating it that way ever since.  I can't even remember chomping down and eating an entire chocolate bar in one sitting.  Instead I just have two or three small pieces, letting each one dissolve in warm, melty, chocolatey goodness.

The result, of course, is that chocolate lasts a long time.  In our house, that means hiding the chocolate in my office so certain other Units don't steal it and eat it before I have a chance to dissolve another piece.

 (Don't try this at home; your cat could die.)