Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Cloud Vaginas and Elvis: Key West Adventures Part 2

The first flight was 2.5 hours long and very crowded; lots of small children.  I am thankful for things like iPods and sitting at the back of the plane.  We both slept most of the flight.  The flight from Orlando to Key West was much shorter (approximately 45 minutes) and much smaller.

A friend had asked me to "wave to Harry Potter" when we flew over Orlando (Universal Studios' "Wizarding World").  I did better than that!  I took a picture in the Orlando airport:

It was pouring down rain in Orlando, which didn't bode well for our week-long Florida vacation.

My Unit and I eventually each took window seats (me in front of her) where we could communicate through a series of ridiculous hand signals, including one that simply means "SPRING BREAK!  2013!  WOOHOO!" screamed like a frat boy.

The pilot warned us that the runways in Key West "are kind of short," so basically not to expect a soft landing.  With my forehead pressed against the window, I started watching the clouds streaming by.

Then the turbulence starts.  I have to sit back lest I forcibly knock my head against said window, and I really don't want to start the vacation off with a concussion (no concussions in 2013!).  It gets bad enough that I grip the armrests and practice some deep breathing.

Finally, it passes.  I start to let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding when a hand reaches around the seat and grabs my arms, scaring the crap out of me.  At which point I press my face into the crack between the seats and say (over the airplane engines) "You scared the crap out of me!"
And my Unit snickers.  And then she flashes our "gang sign" -- SPRING BREAK!  2013!  WOOHOO!

We attempt to "whisper" to each other -- which is really stylized shouting over the airplane engines.
Her:  "Did you like the turbulence?"
Me:  "It scared me.  I may have peed on myself a little."
Her:  "What?"
More snickering.

I pointed out to her that I was watching the cloud shapes roll by.  "That cloud looks like a vagina."
"That CLOUD is a VAGINA!"
"You mean a 'clagina'?"
"Eww.  Sounds like a disease."
"Yeah.  'I'm sorry.  It looks like you have clagina.'"
"Feels like burning!!!"

We flew over the Keys, and it took a moment for me to realize that I wasn't watching more sky, but blue-green ocean.  I have never flown over ocean before.  We could see boats below, and my Unit pointed out that "you can ride on those boats around the islands."
Me:  "...."
Her:  "They usually serve cocktails."
Me:  "Let's go on a boat!!"

As promised, the landing was short and abrupt; my seat belt served its purpose excellently, keeping me from flying into the seat in front of me (no concussions in 2013!).  And then we stopped.  And they opened the door.

There was no "tunnel" or walkway leading into the airport proper.  In Key West, one deplanes directly on the tarmac, just like Elvis or the President!  I had never done that before.  It was a novel experience; I felt like a celebrity, just as the other hundred people felt, too, I'm sure.  And then we were smacked in the face with Key West's humidity, and I started to strip off as many layers (having just left 30 degree weather) as I could while not getting arrested.

We stood in line for a taxi, and got a PINK ONE!  I was so excited that we got the PINK TAXI that I shouted, "Woohoo!"  The cop in charge of assigning people to taxis said it made his day that I was so excited.  So I gave another "Woohoo!" just for him.

(In Key West, many taxis are pink, but only special people get to ride in them.)

We got to our adorable hotel room, and it came complete with a painting that looks like exactly one of my Unit's niece's pieces!
We felt very much at home.  We unpacked, changed into cooler clothes, and made our way to Duval Street.  It was 11 a.m. Key West time, and I was starving.

This is how we do lunch Spring Break-style.

Coming up:  dolphins, manatees, and Kermit the Frog!

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