This is chock-full of spoilers, bitches!
So stop reading now if you've not yet seen the film.
Seriously, I mean it.
One last warning, compliments of the Merc with the Mouth
This isn't a review so much as a collection thoughts during and after the movie, with little to no context.
- OMG, seriously?!? LOKI DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO FIRST TITLE CARD!
- I didn't even have time to find my feelings.
- Fuck, and Idris Elba, too?
- "C'mon, you're embarrassing me in front of the wizards."
- C'mon, don't make him shoot you! That was fucking heartbreaking.
- THEY NEVER EXPLAINED WHY SHE WAS BLONDE.
- With all that trauma, they could have at least addressed this issue. Leonard has a vested interested (read: "pleather body suit") in continuing a redheaded Black Widow.
- Am I a horrible person because I didn't cry at Gamora's death?
- I was too angry that she didn't fucking figure it out! As soon as Agent Red Skull Elrond said "sacrifice something you love," I knew where this was going.
- In fact, it took me longer to figure out where she was going with her point.
- Sure it's a twisted love, but he loved her nonetheless.
- Am I a horrible person that I agree with 99% of Thanos' theory? In theory, that is. And I like that he says it is/would be completely random, without regards to money, society, politics, etc. But it's a bit different seeing it happen to people you care about.
- And if they are just disintegrating, that's not all that bad ("mercy," like he said); it's those left behind who have been "spared" who get the worse end of the deal.
- What's with Thanos' bubble fetish?
I stopped writing this bullet point list some time ago, and now I can't remember where I was going with it. All in all, the film was very upsetting. I'm not masochistic enough to see it again (until it's released on DVD).
I'll leave you with the saddest meme of them all:
|Image compliment of rickybaby|