Leonard Wants to Give You Stuff!

It's true!  I promised to give stuff away when we hit 1,000 hits, and dammit we're at 1,022!  Since there was basically one vote for each item, I'll let the winner choose from:

• a piece of knitwear from my stash
• a commissioned Strongly Worded Letter
• a short fiction written in their honor

Here's how it works:  if you see this link on Facebook, click "like."  If you're a Tumblr follower, reblog the post, and if you're on Twitter, do what the cool kids do and retweet.  Once the winner has been picked, I'll be contacting you regarding your choice of prize. 

Now let's make it to 5,000, people!

We Did It!

As of this morning, we are at exactly 1,000 hits!  It's an even number; Mr. Monk would be very proud.  I have to work today, but details on giveaways, etc. forthcoming.

Take THAT, Caramel Coloring!

Who remembers clear Pepsi?  Okay, it was actually called "Crystal Pepsi," but who else remembers it?  I loved that stuff.  It was Pepsi, but without the dark coloring.  My teenaged mind thought it "felt" a little less "heavy" because of that.

Now up until the writing of this post, I assumed that was the only difference (the caramel coloring).  Apparently, I was totally misinformed as a child (no surprise there).  According to Wikipedia and Whit's Blog, Crystal Pepsi was also a caffeine-free soda.  What?!?  That's not the same at all!

Crystal Pepsi, during its brief lifetime (1992-1993), was marketed as a caffeine-free soda, in addition to being clear.  Moreover, according to some people, it tasted differently than regular Pepsi, too -- specifically, that it tasted like ass.  I don't remember that at all.  I remember liking it immensely.

During the early 90s, I did a horrible summer camp thingie where Monday through Friday we would live on a college campus, take classes, etc.  We only came home on the weekends.  Every Friday afternoon, the bus would drop me off at our apartment, and my mother would have stocked the fridge with (Crystal) Pepsi and the cabinets with Cheez-Its before she went to work.  I would lie on the couch directly in front of the window A/C unit and bask in the glorious coldness with my snack.

It's one of the few good memories I have from that stupid camp, and now you're telling me that I was hardly drinking Pepsi at all?!?  Curse you, Wikipedia!  And you, too, Whit's Blog, for ruining my childhood.

Fun fact:  Coca-Cola responded to Crystal Pepsi with its own new soda.  Are you ready for this?  They marketed Tab Clear for a bit.  Hahahahahahaha! 

Only 88 More to Go!

Leonard is this close to 1,000 hits!  Considering we've only been in publication just shy of one month, I think that's a pretty big deal.  So thank you. 

Thank you!

When we reach 1,000 hits (and, oh yes, we'll get there), Leonard should throw some sort of party or celebratory post.  What would that involve?  Lots of the blogs on Tumblr do giveaways, but what would we give away?  Free knitwear?  Leonard's autograph?  A short-fiction piece written in your honor?  A personally commissioned Strongly Worded Letter?  We'll have to think on that some more.

In the mean time, thank you for reading and keep clicking!  Remember, if you like what you're reading, please reblog, repost, and share the links with your friends and families.  Conversely, if you don't like what you're reading, share the links with all of your enemies, those fuckers.  (Leonard's not too picky.)

Movie Review: The Words

We play fast and loose with the word "review" around here.  As with the Castle episode I wrote about, I will probably use multiple bullet points because I'm too enraged to deal with whole paragraphs.  Also, as with that episode, this contains spoilers.  Cross the River to read all about it.

And the Kharmic Credit Plan Award Goes To...

...me.

I just resisted throwing an object back into my jackass neighbor's yard that they had clearly just thrown over the fence into my yard.  On the upside, said object is a Spider-Man water gun, and it is now MINE.  I fully plan on using it.

In other news, we're still in the Top Five Most Dangerous Cities!  Leonard doesn't lie.  *pointing to the blog header*

 Sadly, it was not this water gun.

Or this inappropriate and vaguely homoerotic one.

Moral of the Story: Don't Ride Roller Coasters

In 1983, TSR and Marvel Productions started a cartoon called Dungeons & Dragons, based on the role-playing tabletop game.  Yes, long before other game-to-movie abominations like Battleship hit the screens, TSR and Marvel already thought it was a good idea to turn games into TV shows.  As the show was canceled after twenty-seven episodes, leaving the finale (which would have wrapped everything up) un-produced, I'm going to say no, it's not a good idea.  And sorry, hard-core RPG fans, there are no dice, characters sheets, or hit points in this show.

A group of kids, aged 7-15, go on a "Dungeons & Dragons ride" at an amusement park.  Where are their chaperones?  Who lets kids just run amok at an amusement park??  D&D the cartoon may actually be a commentary on laissez-faire parenting.

As you can see from the opening credits, this roller coaster of doom transports the children into a scary, magical land, complete with unicorns who jump into your arms.

In each episode, the kids would have a "quest" thrown at them, and at some point they would have to choose between helping other denizens of this realm or going home to the real world.  Invariably, the good-hearted children would help the others, sacrificing their chances to return home.

I remember thinking these children were idiots when I watched it.  In one episode a character could only make one wish:  go home (alone) or save his companions.  I thought, "You moron.  Simply say 'I wish to go home with my friends'!"  (Even at this tender age, Leonard was all about semantics.)

As mentioned earlier, there are only twenty-seven episodes.  The series was canceled in 1985, leaving the finale episode unfinished, although word on the street is that you can find the script floating around on the Interwebs.

The moral of this story, of course, is don't ride roller coasters.  I didn't ride roller coasters until I was at least fifteen or so; I'm pretty sure this show is what instilled the fear in my young mind.

Here's the first part of Season 1 Episode 1 "The Night of No Tomorrow."  Enjoy all the 1980s animated feathered hair.