Thursday, August 1, 2013

Throwback Thursday: Ewoks!

That's right!  Today we're celebrating Ewoks.  I have fond memories of Ewoks as Return of the Jedi was the only Star Wars movie I saw originally in the theater.  And the first person who says that Ewoks are just as bad as Jar-Jar Binks gets a swift kick in the shin.

There were a handful of named Ewoks in the film, with Warwick Davis playing the most famous, Wicket.  From there, of course, spawned all kinds of merchandise.  When attempting to research this blog post, I made several horrific fascinating discoveries:
  1. There is an entire Star Wars wiki.  That in and of itself is not the important point; the fact that they insist on calling it "The Wookieepedia" is.
  2. There was a cartoon called Star Wars:  Ewoks, which I don't remember at all.  It ran for only two seasons (1985-86).  This leads to the third horrifying point:
  3. The Ewok I was searching for in particular has her own bio (courtesy of The Wookieepedia, of course), back story, and even some quotes on the page!
Damn.  All of that information is new to me.  I was just searching for cute Ewok  pictures!  Well, that's not true.  I was searching for specific product information on the Ewok that I used to own:
(Photo courtesy of

Isn't she adorable?  Her name is Kneesaa, and apparently she's not in Return of the Jedi at all!  At least, not according to the cast list on Nope, according to Wikipedia (source of all knowledge) she's a product of the aforementioned two-season cartoon.  Not only that, but she has a very tragic back story.  While she is a princess, royalty comes at a price:
"Her mother was killed by a Hanadak while protecting Kneesaa and her lost sister Asha, who was dragged downstream while trying to escape" (Wikipedia contributors).
What the hell??  I thought this was a children's cartoon?!

One year for Christmas I received Post-Traumatic Stress Care Bear Princess Kneesaa while my brother got the Wicket plush.

 Here is wee Leonard receiving the traditional Ewok gift:
  Later, we went to therapy together.

These days, Princess Kneesaa, even "loose" (that means "without packaging," you perverts!), runs upward of $45.  Just glancing on Google showed some even as high as $85.  I wonder where my Kneesaa is?  Oh yeah, she's was probably thrown out when my step-mother got rid of all of my things because she's a hateful bitch.  My step-mother, not Kneesaa.  I would never say such things about an Ewok!

You now have your choice of two videos.  You can either watch "Yub Nub," the Ewok celebration at the end of Star Wars:  Episode VI -- Return of the Jedi (UNremastered, thankyouverymuch!):

Or the incredibly repetitive opening theme song to the Ewoks cartoon:

Pick your poison.

No comments:

Post a Comment