For the past 10+ years, the horrible things that have happened to me have happened either on New Year's Eve itself or within the first month of January1. Here is a list of past things that have happened, in no particular order:
- robbed at gunpoint
- locked out of my apartment. At midnight. With my dog. But no cell phone.
- car breaking down on the highway. Late at night. Bad part of town.
- trip to the ER for emergency plastic surgery
- a series of broken car windows (retaliation from our jackass neighbor -- repeatedly).
- endoscopy and colonoscopy
So if you see me and I'm asking about New Year's Eve plans, kindly remind me of this list. Even better, just hand me all of the leftover bubble-wrap from your holiday shopping and shipping and walk away. Run. Save yourself!
1With the exception of lightning car.